At the heart of each of our addictive or compulsive behaviors lies what John Bradshaw calls the “God-Hole” or “hole in the soul”. Think of concentric circles, starting from the middle we can see the “God-Hole” surrounded by primary core issues such as reality, self-esteem, boundaries, dependency and moderation. Related issues to reality are spiritual issues. This month we’re going to look at “toxic beliefs” that lead to a “toxic faith” that many of us need to confront before our recovery can kick into high gear.

After almost a full year of being involved with recovery I came to the stark realization that I knew a lot “about” God but did not “know” Him hardly at all. This was very freeing and frightening at the same time. Frightening in that I wondered what in the world I had been doing all those years I thought I was worshiping Him. But freeing when I realized that despite my spiritual shortcomings, He still loved me and was there all the time. This drove home the new belief that it really had nothing to with my nature but His. He is above all a strong, gentle, functional, non-codependent Father that knows how to wait on us to learn about Him enough that we will then want to "know Him" in truth and in deed, His truth and His deed.

This month I’ll share something Dr. Steven Arterburn capsulized in his book "Toxic Faith" and the "antidotes" that I’ve gleaned from this last year of creatively working out my salvation in fear (awe) and trembling (shaking with glee!). In future issues l hope to share some meditations and affirmations with the antidotes as He lovingly teaches me in the steps of recovery.

ANTIDOTES FOR TWENTY- ONE TOXIC BELIEFS OF A TOXIC FAITH

TOXIC BELIEF 1. God’s love and favor depend on my behavior.

ANTIDOTE 1. We did nothing to merit God’s love; it is about GRACE and MERCY.

TOXIC BELIEF 2. When tragedy strikes, true believers should have a real peace about it.

ANTIDOTE 2. When tragedy strikes, true faith sustains us through the rough times, letting us feel appropriate feelings, getting energy, learning and growth from each experience.

TOXIC BELIEF 3. If you have real faith, God will heal you or someone you are praying for.

ANTIDOTE 3. Divine healing is administered by God for our greatest good (the big picture).

TOXIC BELIEF 4. All ministers are men and women of God and can be trusted.

ANTIDOTE 4. Ministers are no different than any other person and are subject to the same shortcomings, temptations and defects of character as the rest of us. God gave us a brain to discern good and evil, safe and unsafe people for ourselves.

TOXIC BELIEF 5. Material blessings are a sign of spiritual strength.

ANTIDOTE 5. Poverty nor riches are indications of spiritual strength. The application of sound financial principles brings wealth to anyone, regardless of their faith in God.

TOXIC BELIEF 6. The more money you give to God, the more money He will give to you.

ANTIDOTE 6. We don’t pay our way to heaven. 100% belongs to God.

TOXIC BELIEF 7. I can work my way to heaven.

ANTIDOTE 7. We don’t work our way to heaven. Christ did it all, paid the price, it is ours to accept or reject.

TOXIC BELIEF 8. Problems in your life result from some particular sin.

ANTIDOTE 8. Problems in your life result from the human experience. God doesn’t punish us here on earth, we suffer the consequences of our choices.

TOXIC BELIEF 9. I must not stop meeting others’ needs.

ANTIDOTE 9.1 must take care of myself in healthy ways for I am the temple of the Lord. I can follow His example in doing for others what they can’t do for themselves.

TOXIC BELIEF 10. I must always submit to authority.

ANTIDOTE 10. I have a responsibility to examine all information coming to me. People in authority are subject to making mistakes as well as I.

TOXIC BELIEF 11. God uses only spiritual giants.

ANTIDOTE 11. God uses anyone that is willing and open to His direction. There are no little people with God, just PEOPLE.

TOXIC BELIEF 12. Having true faith means waiting for God to help me and doing nothing until He does.

ANTIDOTE 12. Having true faith means taking the first step I faith towards open doors. Only after one has done all he/she can do then stand and wait upon the Lord.

TOXIC BELIEF 13. If it’s not in the Bible, it isn’t relevant.

ANTIDOTE 13. The Bible is the inerrant Word of God, full of wisdom and principles to live by. From the same source as His Word came our mental faculties. God does not intend for us to ignore knowledge and wisdom that coincides with Biblical principles and truth.

TOXIC BELIEF 14. God will find me a perfect mate.

ANTI DOTE 14. We need to engage our brains and be responsible for our decisions in looking for a mate. No one is perfect nor are any relationships perfect. Both require work and are the result of lifelong processes.

TOXIC BELIEF 15. Everything that happens to me is good.

ANTIDOTE 15. Everything that happens in this world is not necessarily good. Sin has altered that and we see the consequences of sin all around. What can happen is that what Satan means for our destruction can be used as a learning tool and we can get good out of what happens to us.

TOXIC BELIEF 16. A strong faith will protect me from problems and pain.

ANTIDOTE 16. A strong faith will sustain us THROUGH problems and pain as well as the good times.

TOXIC BELIEF 17. God hates sinners, is angry with me, and wants to punish me.

ANTIDOTE 17. God loves the sinner and hates the SIN. He gave His Son as the ultimate sacrifice for the sinner. His desire is that none perish.

TOXIC BELIEF 18. Christ was merely a great teacher.

ANTIDOTE 18. Christ is the Son of the Living God, one with the Father and Spirit. He chose to become man for a time, setting aside temporarily some of His God powers so He could suffer as we do and pay the ultimate price for our sin.

TOXIC BELIEF 19. God is too big to care about me.

ANTIDOTE 19. He cares for me, is never too big or too busy. He cared for King David and Rahab the harlot, Lazarus, His close friend and Blind Bartemaeus the beggar.

TOXIC BELIEF 20. More than anything else, God wants me to be happy.

ANTIDOTE 20. More than anything God wants me to find His peace and serenity in an imperfect world.

TOXIC BELIEF 21. You can become God.

ANTIDOTE 21. God is God because He is unique. We can become like God in that we have His image stamped in every cell of our hair to the cell is of the very marrow of our bones. Believing one is God is as difficult to achieve as it would be to say one is one’s own father.