We deny our family was troubled, repressed, or dysfunctional.

Admit to self and safe others "family secrets”. Break the "NO TALK RULE”.

We blame ourselves for everything bad that happens, whether we did it or not. We don't allow for our mistakes.


Accept responsibility for own behavior only. Allow others to enjoy the consequences of their choices. Affirm we MAKE mistakes, but we aren't a mistake.

We pick on ourselves for everything, including the way they think, feel, look, act and behave.

Take regular personal fearless, moral inventory' which includes the positive as well as the negative.

We get angry, defensive, self-righteous and indignant when others blame and criticize us (although we indulge in self-criticism often).

As we do our inventory we can see where we make mistakes, make amends, forgive ourselves and move on with our lives. Be perfectly imperfect!

We get depressed from a lack of compliments and praise (stroke deprivation).


We can learn to ask for what we need from those we love around us. We maintain contact with others in recovery by meetings and phone.

We feel guilty about spending money on ourselves or doing unnecessary fun things for ourselves.


We can learn what our needs and wants are and take care of ourselves. Rest and relaxation (reCREATION) is as necessary as food.

We reject compliments or praise.


Learn to say, 'Thank you" and then close our mouths.

We feel different than the rest of the world. We think we are not quite good enough.

We recognize that we are all unique and precious and that God loves us all, ONE AT A TIME!

We fear rejection.

Reject rejection!!! Resist isolation. There are millions of us in recovery. Take charge of your life and find some of us.

We take things personally (funny looks, aside remarks, world famine).


We can recognize that others have problems, fears, etc. that we aren't responsible for.



We have been victims of sexual, physical, spiritual or emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, or alcoholism and feel like victims.

Do the inner child work, depending on how severe, in a therapeutic (counseling) environment. Figuratively have the word "victim" surgically removed from your forehead!

We tell ourselves we can’t do anything right.

Stop lying to oneself. Identify the negative self-talk and replace it with warm, compassionate faith through affirmations.



We are afraid of making mistakes. We expect ourselves to do everything perfectly. We wonder why we can’t get anything done to our satisfaction.      

Give yourself a break today (one day at a time) and realize we learn from mistakes and that only God is perfect. We make mistakes but we aren't mistakes. Adopt a new philosophy; "If it’s worth doing, it's worth doing POORLY!!!"

We wonder why we have a tough time making decisions.

Deal with the perfectionism and learn some new decision-making skills. Then practice, practice, PRACTICE.

We have a lot of “shoulds” in our vocabulary.

Every time you catch yourself using "should", stop the conversation right then and rephrase with one or more of the following, "I choose to; I want to; I love to".

We feel a lot of guilt. We feel ashamed of who we are.   

Do Steps 4, 5 and 6 (fearless moral inventory and confession) and allow the toxic guilt and shame to be watched away with the light of day. Get in touch with our 'preciousness”; made in God's image, to fellowship with Him.

We think our lives aren’t worth living. We try to help other people live their lives instead of our own.

Stay in touch with one’s support group. Get to know the difference between care taking and caring for others. We can learn that we have value in being, not in our "doing". We get this picture as we look at ourselves through the accepting eyes of others.


Recovery 3.0

Meets at

Seven Oaks Church

1021 S. Burke St.

Visalia, CA 93292


from 6:30- 8:00 PM

Gateway to Recovery

Meets at


Visalia, CA 


from 6:30- 8:00 PM



Admin ER Store


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© Luther Case