Affiramtion Process Part 1

NOTE:  This was writtine in March 1991

What is an affirmation? An affirmation in the spiritual sense is faith. They both describe the act of thinking about something so strongly and vividly that it comes to pass, first in the mind’s eye and then in the temporal world. One might well ask is this not “willing” something to happen? And from a recovery standpoint could this not be” the will run rampant”? From the Christian perspective is this not “name it and claim it” theology? The answer to the last two questions could be yes if that were the sum total of a person’s belief system.

What we will discover here is a resolution of both concerns. What we need to do is base our lives on the pursuit of truth and be dedicated to that and not base our lives on just getting our needs and wants met outside of this guiding light Before we describe an affirmation or the process of applying faith to our lives, let’s look at principles that help us see the truth.

The 12 steps lead us to recognize our position in the universe. We first admit we are out of control and our lives have become unmanageable and recognize God as being able to help us. We learn that we are neither gods nor worms, we neither think too highly of ourselves nor do we think too little of ourselves. We move the scales to a balance point. Life becomes the fluid process of adjusting to achieve balance moment by moment as we grow, and things change around us. Sometimes we succeed and at others we don’t. But that is okay because one of the qualities of being human is imperfection, not broken nor flawed but capable of making mistakes and learning from them. This concept of our being imperfect is not related to the Adamic or original sin issue. We are talking here of God being perfect and our being created in God’s image but imperfect in that we are limited in our knowledge, power and scope where He is not by virtue of His Omnipotence, Omniscient, Omnipresence, etc. All too many times we have grown up with the understanding that we are “bad” and have had a difficult time once we become adults seeing anything “good” about ourselves.

Now let’s look at a couple of powerful statements. They are 1) Fear is negative faith and 2) Trust is positive faith. This helps get a perspective on what faith or affirmation is. We all live by the principle whether we admit to it or even know it or not. Unfortunately, we learn all too well “for our own good” how to fear. And that is negative faith, we believe

that something bad is going to happen to us and by Jove, we’re surprised when it does! Why are we surprised we got just what we had faith for? Recently my sister, over 50 who almost 2 years earlier lost her husband to cancer, called to ask whether she should tell our parents about a breast biopsy she needed to undergo. She was worried how they would take it As I talked to her, I discovered that this condition had occurred within a 6 - 8-week period since her last physical and that there was an excellent chance the

results would be positive, that is the condition was caught in the earliest stages of development. And thank God this was the case. But as predictable as the sun rise,

our mother “awful-ized” the news and believed the worst-case scenario until after the test results were returned (a few days time) and was quite miserable while waiting for bad news. That is an example of negative faith, fear of the worst happening when there was a greater chance for the best case because of the early detection. It is easy to exercise fear, negative faith, it is like a fog that pervades and invades our lives with crippling results. I’m not suggesting we become “Pollyanna” and ignore serious situations; we just need to be able to categorize the difference between a hang nail and having someone threaten our lives with a gun to the head.

No wonder then that positive faith, trust is so hard to come by. We need then to learn to practice trust, a NEW LIFE SKILL that at first feels awkward and backwards to us. And that too is why we tend to label “name it and claim it” people as fanatics, idealists, on the fringe. They are just learning how to tap in to a very powerful reservoir dynamic that many times even they don’t quite know and trust but somehow they know it works miracles in their lives.

I’ve referred to this as a NEW LIFE SKILL for a really good reason. A skill can be learned and that is the main point. We can learn by practice the principles needed to master the skills involved in trusting God first and ourselves second and safe, trustworthy people lastly. One of the main rules in a dysfunctional family system is the “Don’t trust” rule. And when we grow into adulthood, we either learn to trust no one and live in suspicion of all or we swing the other direction out of balance and trust all the

wrong people repeatedly, no matter how many times they let us down or demonstrate their unworthiness. Many of us in the latter group have been the easy marks, the victims of the first group with lots of examples to prove the pattern.

So trust is the essential ingredient in an affirmation or faith. Notice the order, God, self and safe others. I would be surprised if keeping things in that perspective would ever lead a person to intentionally have faith for or affirm something selfishly. One of the ancient fathers of the church once summed it quite well when he said “Love God and do want you want”! If we trust God above all how can we “want to do anything” that would be selfish or in any way demean or take away from ourselves or another human being? God created us for fellowship with Him, He wants our ultimate good! Butif that belief is not at the core of our faith and belief system then we’re surely not going to trust of all “beings” God, He knows everything, He is all powerful and with that knowing and power He is going to get me. When? When I’ve let down my guard, when I’ at my happiest, when I’m being the real me, whoever that happens to be.

As we prepare ourselves for the process of affirmations, we need to prepare our minds to see as it were through God’s eyes, and He really wants us to do just that. That is why He gave us such an honest account of the His relationship with the Jew in the Old Testament and let us see the foibles of even the greatest Apostles. That is why He came down in human form to be God-man so we could learn to trust Him when he asks us to do tough things for the truth, when our baser self would be selfish as opposed to being dedicated to self-care and loving one’s neighbor as one self. That is also why He made contact with Himself so simple and uncomplicated that time and time again He admonishes us that a child can even do it effectively. He even says that if we don’t be-

come as little children we won’t get to Heaven. He says “childlike” there not “childish” and there is a big difference we sometimes miss. Since many of us were never really allowed to be children when we were children, we miss the meaning all together. So first, we need to learn what it would have meant to be a natural child and then learn to behave more like that than the phony way we do many times as adults. We will become more interested and curious about life. We will learn to live in the NOW, recognizing that yesterday will never be again, and tomorrow is nothing more than a dream to be lived in another NOW.

Finally, now let’s see what skills are needed to begin to learn how to make affirmations. The following list is from a program by Lou Tice and has been very effective for me. As further issues unfold this will be the focal point of the section on affirmations.

1. Keep them Personal

2. State them in Positive terms

3. State them in the Present tense

as though it exists

4. Indicate achievement “I can” vs. ability

5. Make No comparisons with others

6. Use Action words (vividness)

7. Use Emotion words (feelings)

8. Be Accurate (don’t overshoot nor undershoot)

9. Be Balanced in all areas of ones life

10. Keep them Realistic (not perfect)

11. Keep them to yourself

Here are some sample affirmations;

>        I express myself well and I know others respect and listen to

my point of view.

>        I have a positive expectancy of reaching my goals, and I bounce back quickly from temporary setbacks. I am resilient.

>        Because I like and respect myself, I am warm and friendly towards all I contact. I treat everyone with consideration and respect.

>        I am kind and compassionate and gentle with myself. I forgive myself when I make mistakes.