The 12th Step Newsletter
The 12th Step Newsletter

Garbage vs. Healthy Messages

Recovery 3.0 – 2/27/24





(Messages that make us feel bad and unloved.)

✓ Examine the GARBAGE MESSAGES to see if you recognize any. Then use these affirmations and the recovery process to confront and counteract their negative effect in one's life.


X Don’t say anything if you can’t say something nice. (Hide your feelings.)

✓ I speak my truth honestly in love, taking care of my feelings and being sensitive to those of others as I do so.


X Family business is private business. (Don't trust.)

✓ I share my past pain (even family secrets) with safe "family of choice" in order to process, find it, feel it, forgive it.


X Work first, play later. (What you do is more important than who you are.)

✓ I plan play in my life to add balance. I am a human being not a human "doing".


X Boys don’t cry. (Men should always be strong.)

✓As a man, I show my hurts to caring people. It's okay for me to be scared as well as brave, weak as well as strong.


X Women don’t get angry. (Women should cover up angry feelings.)

✓ As a woman, I get angry at appropriate times. I show all my feelings to those I choose.


X Don’t speak unless spoken to. (Spontaneity is wrong.)

✓ I balance my life with unplanned activities as well as planned ones. It is okay for me to initiate getting my needs met, especially ones where I reach out to others.


X Don’t talk about sex. (There is something wrong with our bodies.)

✓ I am proud to be a woman/man. I like my body (the good, the bad and the ugly).


X You made your bed, now lie in it. (There is no room for mistakes.)

✓ I make mistakes but I’m not a mistake. I learn from them and get better daily.


X Anything worth doing is worth doing well. (Strive for perfectionism in everything.)

✓ I need only do my best; I get to determine what that is for myself; perfection is God's job.


X Money doesn’t grow on trees. (Watch whatever you spend.)

✓I make healthy decisions with the money I have. I learn how to budget to care for my needs and wants as well as those I am responsible for.


X You can do better. (What you are doing is not good enough.)

✓ I am enough for me.


X I told you so... (You should have listened and done what I said. I am right and you are wrong.)

✓ It's ok to make mistakes. I can think for myself I don't need to blame others nor myself.


X Don’t hang your dirty linen in public. (Don't talk and don’t ask for help.)

✓ I don't need to protect the guilty at the cost of my sanity. I ask for help from safe people I choose.


X Blood is thicker than water. (Family loyalty comes first whether or not it is deserved.)

✓ I deserve my loyalty. I am my best friend in a healthy self-care attitude. I determine who in my family is deserving of my loyalty.



Recovery 3.0

Meets at

Seven Oaks Church

1021 S. Burke St.

Visalia, CA 93292


6:30- 8:00 PM

Gateway to Recovery

Meets at

Praise Center Church

503 N. Floral St.

Visalia, CA 


6:30- 8:00 PM



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© Luther Case