Note: this was writtin in April 1991

One of the results of having been raised in a religiously addicted family and now being in recovery is the aversion to religious things like quoting Scripture. And for about a year and a half I've had problems getting to the point where I can read it and pray and feel I'm not just being religious again. I mention this because I want you to understand that in talking about affirmations and faith I don't want to “spiritualize” so much that I lose you. If you're like me you've really had it with people trying to prove things by quoting the Bible. My eyes sort of roll back if there isn't a clear sense of the person being dedicated to the truth Scripture is used. I'm also very weary of being beat over the head by the Word, I want to be fed spiritually by it. So why am I including this explanation as we continue our look at faith and affirmations? Simple, I'm going to share Jesus' point of view in relation to faith using the eleven (11) item list I quoted from Lou Tice towards the end of the previous article. If I begin to get off into the negative aspects in the above paragraph, please in a loving and caring way, not codependently fixing me, but in a perfectly imperfect way share your perspective with me. I'm still working by faith and affirmations to STEP through old habits and learn newer, healthier ones.

Before I ask you to use the affirmation process, realize that the process is built on principles Jesus taught while He was here and lessons He demonstrated in the Old and New Testaments through the lives of perfectly imperfect people just like you and me.

1. Keep them Personal

“Seek YE first the Kingdom of God…”

As we work recovery we realize we can't fix or change anybody. Controlling others is crazy making so we need to concentrate on ourselves. Our first and foremost responsibility is to ourselves as Jesus ministry always dealt with the individual. He healed “Blind Bart”, questioned the woman at the well, raised the widow's son, talked to Mary in the garden, appeared to “Doubting Tom”, struck “Stubborn-Saul”, gave “Stone-man Pete “ a vision; all one at a time. He meets each of us where we are and deals with us in very unique personal ways to meet our needs. Faith is just that way, what each of us needs, can be very different and that is okay.

So an affirmation to change someone else is really going to be of little value and can be rather frustrating.

2. State Them in Positive Terms

“Ask what you will in my Name and it shall be done unto you.”

Our past conditioned us to state things in the negative more than the positive. Just look at some of our common phrases, “That kills me”, or “I just about died” or “I died laughing”. We constantly affirm negatively and repeat old messages of “I can't” that we've heard and our inner self buys it.

We also have difficulty asking for in a healthy way directly what we need and want. We learned all kinds of manipulative games that drive others away from us. But Jesus gives us permission to ask for what we need and want in His Name and it will be given. Even when we ask selfishly, we get what we want if we set our minds to it. The key is to learn from our mistakes and ask healthy things because we always get what we set our hearts on. If that is a heart of love and plenty then that is what we reap. If it negative, hate, revenge or poverty then that is our crop. The point is we already get what we affirm; the affirmation process helps us grow healthily, productively by having faith for the good things in life. Therefore we state affirmations positively. So “I don't yell at my children” becomes. “I speak to my children in a calm, firm, loving voice because I care for and value them”; Or “I stop putting myself down” becomes “I value myself by talking to myself in warm affirming tones as I would by best friend”.

3. State them in the Present tense as though it exists

“Now is the day of salvation”

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

The mind is a funny thing. It doesn't know the difference between a thought and an event. So “As a man thinks, so is he”. It is a very powerful thing too as it goes about changing the world outside to fit the image it has inside. So we go about writing and stating our affirmations in words that describe the new image we want to create inside. The power of the mind then has a new reality; to create that which is healthy and life affirming. As we work our program and walk the spiritual journey towards a relationship with God, our desires and needs come into line with what He wants for us. We move away from selfish motives and attitudes towards self care motives and attitudes.

4. Indicate achievement “I can/do” vs. “I will try to…”

“These things and even greater will you DO in my Name”

“Try” is a dangerous word. Try to stand up as you are sitting. You either stand or you don't. So we avoid the use of words like “try” in our affirmations. Instead we use words like “talk, accept, make, learn, enjoy, feel, treat, express” that deal in action.

5. Make NO comparisons with others

Luke 18:  ⁹ To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: ¹⁰ “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹ The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. ¹² I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

¹³ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

¹⁴ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Jesus tells us the story of the publican and the Pharisee praying in the Temple and shows us how destructive comparisons are. We always wind up better than or less than others and the key here is to become who He intended you to be. It's okay to be just who you are, the authentic you. We spend a lot of time trying to measure up to someone else's idea of who we think they want us to be or trying to make the world become what we think it should be.

6. Use Action words (vividness)

As we write and state our affirmations we need to use lots of picture words. Use motion and activity words that are meaningful to us. Each of us has different words that speak to us from our experiences.  Avoid “verb +ing to”.

7. Use Emotion words (feelings)

“Jesus wept”

Jesus wasn't afraid of His emotions. He wept, got angry, was moved with compassion and at times expressed frustration and disappointment with people. Our feelings will not kill us and we need to be in touch with what we truly feel. A way to do that is expand our feeling vocabulary.

8. Be Accurate (don't overshoot nor under shoot)

“He who goes to build a building and fails to count the cost is considered foolish.”

The reference above is a great truth. We want to mix realism with our dreams. We want to stretch ourselves and reach for goals that are just out of reach but not so far that we get frustrated. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. I can affirm being president of the United States but if that is truly what I aspire to, I need to identify the steps from where I am to where I want to go and be willing to put forth the effort required. And accuracy doesn't mean shooting for the easy or safe mark only. It does mean having a plan and following it.

9. Be Balanced in all areas of one’s life

Each of us is a physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional and social being. We need to affirm growth in all areas of life. Affirming wealth, power and position is not bad but we need to affirm relationships with God and people, healthy bodies and minds and work towards serenity. Did Jesus play as a child? …as an adult? Did he lead a balanced life? As we assess where we are in life we can begin to affirm those areas that are dwarfed or underdeveloped. Working our step 4 is a good indicator of where we need to work on balance.

10. Keep them Realistic (not perfect)

“Be thou perfect as my Heavenly Father is perfect”

In the teachings of Jesus, Paul and Peter there is a Greek word they use for perfect that means functional and maturing. That is, a screw driver is perfect when it is used to loosen or tighten a screw. It ceases to be perfect when it is used as a hammer. And the other part of the definition means that we are meant to grow up and that we are going to be more mature tomorrow than we are today. There is never an arriving and finishing the maturing process as long as we have breath.

What is our function? To worship and fellowship God and serve (that doesn't mean be a door mat or punching bag) our fellow man. He gave us His image in us that allows us to be creative, complete and perfectly imperfect human BEings with limits.

11. Keep them to yourself

“Pray in your closet”, “God rewards openly what we ask for in secret”

Many times we share our dreams with others and it threatens them. They may say negative things about us and our dreams that get our minds off our new goals. This is like shooting ourselves in the foot.  So as we are re-creating with faith and affirmations it is best to keep them private. They won't stay that way for long as changes begin to occur and the process takes root. Protect the new fresh seeds as they begin to sprout and take form. Your ideas along with you are precious and as you get used to the new you of your faith you both need nurture and care